Monster Academy
by Spencer841
Summary: What if all the monsters from Monster Hunter were humans in High School? Drama ensues! Collab. Het, yaoi, yuri. Chayambashipping. T for now. Monster Hunter is owned by CAPCOM! R&R!
1. Qurupeco Goes to School

AN: This was written by a good friend of mine with help/editing by me. He requested that I post it here since he doesn't have an account. Enjoy Monster Academy!

Chapter 1

Qurupeco goes to school

Once upon a time there was a girl named Qurupeco! She was known throughout the land as having the fairest, most excellent, and exquisite voice. People would stop whatever they were doing and flock to her, just to hear her sing. All this she accomplished before reaching HIGH SCHOOL!

It was Qurupeco's first day at high school. She wasn't nervous. She owned the world. However, despite her successes, something strange was occurring. Now whenever she sang, instead of her usual admirers like the geek who called himself The Great Jaggi (there is nothing great about him), the snob Rathian, or even that hipster Rathalos, a weird green thing would appear.

"RAWR!"

"Oh God!" Qurupeco exclaimed. He was here again... DEVILJHO.

"RAWR," the green pickle T-rex thing said once again. Deviljho was a monster, while everyone else was human. They didn't know where he came from, or what he wanted, but all attempts to stop him from going to high school had failed. The government issued Act 3666, declaring that Deviljho would go to school if nothing more than to protect the poor innocent civilians outside.

"Rawr?" Deviljho enunciated very questioningly. However, Qurupeco did not understand. She just left in disgust, pretending that she didn't see him, didn't feel him.

"_AM I NOTHING TO THEM?"_ Deviljho roared in his mind. _"Can they not see what I want, what I need? Is life just to be noticed and valued by others, or is there more?"_ As Deviljho pondered this, everyone else went to school, ignoring the giant monster in front of it. Qurupeco was so excited for her classes with the suave-as she called him, Royale- Ludroth.


	2. Royale Ludroth

Chapter 2

"Royale" Ludroth gets bumped from the swim team

Mr. Ludroth, as he proclaimed himself, was unhappy. He had just realized today that while he thought of himself as a great renaissance man, doing water color paintings and being a synchronized swimmer in middle school, he discovered that he didn't make the cut.

That's right, the man known throughout the world as the best swimmer ever (maybe he exaggerated in his mind a bit) did not make the swim team. His heart burned with fiery passion. How could this be? Why would this happen to someone as great, talented, and modest as he? As he raged in silence he noticed an exquisite beauty come into his homeroom. Her hair shimmered with brilliant shades of lavender and jade. Her skin seemed to glow radiantly in the light of the sun. Her clothes clung tightly to her body, revealing her voluptuous figure. Her smile lit up the entire room with serene grace. Ludroth couldn't believe his eyes.

_"She can't be real, she must have a flaw,"_ Royal Ludroth thought, until he heard her voice.

"Hi, I'm Qurupeco! You must be Royale Ludroth," Qurupeco said angelically.

"For you, madame, I will be anything," Royale Ludroth said in a suave voice.

Unfortunateley for them, before things could proceed further, a small strange creature wearing a small acorn mask came in.

"IS EVERYONE HERE FOR Shaka-Shakespearean Literature?" came a low-pitched thundering voice.

Everyone froze. How did this small creature even have the ability to speak this low!? While everyone stared in awe, the professor grew tired and hit Royale Ludroth with a boomerang.

"Ouch!" Royale Ludroth said in indignation. "Why would you harm one so magnificent as I?"

"IF YOU DON'T ANSWER NOW IT WILL ONLY BE WORSE-WORSE... CHA!"

Everyone in the room immediately answered that they were indeed there to hear about the great writer Shakespeare.

"GOOD, then let US BEGIN! CHA!"

"Wait, can you at least tell us your name?" said a nameless nobody in the back of the room.

"SHUT UP JAGGI, DO NOT SPEAK-SPEAK UNTIL SPOKEN TO. I AM GOD IN THIS ROOM."

Jaggi wet himself and ran to the bathroom. People would have laughed at him if it weren't for the fact that they all wet themselves also.

"Listen up! I am Cha-Cha, slayer of demons."

"Really?" said another nameless nobody.

"SHUT YOUR FACE ARZUROS, or SHOULD Cha-Cha slay himself a nerd!"

Arzuros had a heart attack at that moment and was taken to the nurse's office.

End of chapter 2


	3. Kayamba

Warning: Brief mention of sexual content.

Chapter 3

Kayamba

Kayamba watched quietly from outside as his lover messed up some fools. "Yeah, you beat their ass," he muttered to himself.

Suddenly hearing a noise, Kayamba hid quickly before that geek Jaggi saw him because, as it was known, you could not look at a god and live. Only one could see him, and that one was Cha-Cha.

Kayamba thought back to the days they spent together. The lap dances given and received. More dancing than there were stars in the sky, their love could not be contained. He remembered a time when he was once mortal. It was Cha-Cha who taught him how to feel, live, and love. Even when he, the Great Kayamba, achieved immortality, Cha-Cha did not fear him. Instead, they were closer than ever. The Great Kayamba would open the gates of hell itself and annihilate Satan if he, the Great Kayamba!, had to, in order to save his beloved.

"Yeah, you tell them, tell those dweebish infidels about the power you possess to make their lives hell." Kayamba loved it when Cha-Cha spoke that way... especially in bed. Yes, they had made their arrangements. In his class and in bed Cha-Cha could be god, but all the other times it was he, THE GREAT KAYAMBA, who would watch this wretched world.

Kayamba was lost in this reminisce when suddenly...

"RAWR," yelled Deviljho.

Unfazed, Kayamba turned around slowly and then...

"**RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAWRRRRRRRRRR!"**

All the lights in the building shattered, glass was broken, many were injured, but Deviljho learned never to anger Kayamba again... for now.

End of Chapter 3


	4. Interlude by Deviljho

Chapter 4

Interlude by Deviljho

Deviljho stalked the hallways, shocked and in disbelief, after he had been out-rawred. Thus he began his inner monologue.

_For all my life, all I have done is roar_

_I have scared everything, from the birds in the sky to my mother_

_Everyone has left me because of this, and yet, one is not scared_

_Does this invalidate the meaning of my life?_

_What purpose do I serve!?_

_I can't talk to anyone, I can't express myself_

_No one will know how sentimental I am_

_So all I do is roar_

_However, even that has left me_

_Now there is one who can roar better than I_

_Where does this leave me?_

_I'll tell you_

_Alone_

Deviljho kept thinking deep thoughts, well into the night. The janitor Volvidon worked his hardest to clean around the stationary goliath, but the halls were left unclean.

End of Chapter 4


	5. Rathian's Rancor

Chapter 5

Rathian's Rancor

Rathian narrowed her eyes as she saw "Royale" Ludroth speak with one whom only she deserved. However, in this cruel world the status quo must be upheld. Thus she, as the Queen of the High School, had to date the King. It did not matter that she cared not for him, nor the fact that he didn't seem to care for her either. It was an unspoken agreement by the whole school that they had to be together. It was as if they were made for each other, physically, but in all other aspects were nothing alike.

It wasn't that Rathalos was a bad guy. In fact he was good at sports and was quite funny. He always seems to build up for a great joke only for it to fall flat, which was funny in its own way. However, she was just not into him. In fact it was more of the fact that he was a _guy_ that was the problem. Rathian realized in middle school that she did not want the touch of those that would never truly understand how she felt. She needed someone who could enjoy exactly what she did, and whom she could return the affection of without worry. Guys are afraid of commitment and only seem to want one thing, in Rathian's view. Fortunately for her, she wasn't attracted to them physically or mentally.

Unfortunately for her, the one who grabbed her attention most seemed to love another. This would be alright if that other was female. However, Qurupeco seemed to be straight, which meant that Rathian could never have her.

As Rathian sat contemplating this she noticed that there was a monster—Deviljho, was it?—who stood in petrified silence in the middle of the hallway.

_What could have done this? _Rathian thought._ What could have made that terrifying and menacing monster grow silent and scared?_

As she wondered this, she realized maybe high school was not as safe as she originally believed. If something was scary enough to do this to Deviljho... what would happen to the rest of them? While she was thinking this she saw Professor Kayamba laughing to himself. At the time she thought it strange, but later, all would be revealed.


	6. Everything is Awesome

Chapter 6

Everything is Awesome When You Are a Jaggi (not)

As Jaggi was wailing and crapping his pants, he ran to his only refuge from it all: computer club. There he met with Baggi, but Wroggi unfortunately was nowhere to be found.

"Where is Wroggi?" Jaggi asked in confusion.

"He's too cool for us. We knew it would just be a matter of time before everyone else realized how cool he was," Baggi said, sighing.

"But he's our lead programmer!" Jaggi exclaimed. "I just punch buttons, I don't actually know what I'm doing!"

"Yeah, but he is also a cowboy-in-training, and can poison the hearts and minds of those who oppose him through his prose and banter. Anyone he faces cannot continue after a while," Baggi said with hearts in his eyes.

"I know; he is so awesome! I once saw him rodeo a bullfango and then ride it for 20 miles!" Jaggi exclaimed with adoration and hearts in his eyes as well.

"Yeah... the only one better at debates is Giggi," Baggi said with disgust.

"Let's face it, she only wins because she is so despicable and annoying," Jaggi mumbled, furrowing his brow.

"Ugh... I feel sick just hearing what comes out of her mouth. I feel dead inside when I hear that screeching voice."

"That is true... but think about Diablos' voice." They both shuddered uncontrollably.

"How can anyone who is a female make such a terrible noise!?"

"It feels like my soul is on fire when I hear that."

"It's even worse when she is... you know"

They both wanted to giggle, but it's so terrifying and awful that they shivered instead.

After an uncomfortable silence, Jaggi sighed. "Why aren't we cool?"

"Well, it is because... you know... and then... 200 years ago it was shown... in the founding of our nation… trees are plants too..."

As Baggi rambled on, Jaggi found himself falling into a deep slumber where he was the hero, the most popular kid in school. Alas, it was only to be a dream.


End file.
